Desperation is crazy
Loneliness is draining,
In my little but long life,i've been treated unjustly and treated others so.
I could find a million ways to justify me but I know i'm lost.
Not one soul understands me, in my early stage in life i was defiled.
I lowered my standards cos i felt like garbage and i accepted every man that came my way.
You're lucky! I say to myself because he finds you worthy enough, with little self worth i wandered
Accepting all their gibberish and lustful remarks,
Thinking oh! He loves me.
Little did i know they were predators preying on my innocence and juvenility
Oh! Naive me!
All he,he,he and he wanted was the cookie once tasted they moved on to the next,
I have served my purpose.
Once again i felt dejected,rejected and filfthy
Now i beat myself up saying, you should have seen this coming,You should have read the signs
Damn girl! You could tell these signs million miles away
Yet on the break of dawn, I met another with his sweet words he promised he wasn't like the previous
Trapped i fell again only to be hit by reality,I have been played
A fool i was,picked up my clothes crying from pain and hurt i try to cover up my shame.
I still live,comforting myself i said
I AM A STRONG WOMAN.
Lonely heart is a misery
Still trying to find myself,looking for love and appreciation
And i thought men could do it.
I started to harbour relationships,not just one or two but three.
Being able to have these guys at once made me valuable .Feeling elated i said yeah! I could play them too but this was just ephemeral
Silly me! Chaotic outcome was looming
So i drop them or rather they left my life ,of course right after having enough cookie.
Had no close relationship with Ma
Damn!who do i talk to? No advisor, who do i make close enough to understand me without judging ?
At the verge of tuning into a new life,I met yet another.
It was clear he wanted the cookie but somehow he became obsessed with me, I thought it was love and i said to myself at last lucky me! I have hit my jackpot.
But it wasn't long gone, he showed me his tentacles.
In a twinkle of an eye,he turned a monster he beat me up and have gave me a scarred face .
One night he told me he loves me,that i was different then he fucked me. On the next he pounced on me again.
Oh!My life is miserable,happiness long gone
Admist this pain he ate me raw again,I am made a sex doll.
Where do i go from here? How do I leave?
I think i'm addicted
I think i'm stucked
I have totally lost it. Who do i tell my story?
Then there came this reviving night after a great turmoil my decision was made.
I left without looking back
Today isn't yesterday ,today I have found my redemption
I am a woman who has. known pain, I am a definition of black don't crack.
A strong woman and my scars made me beautiful.
*_~By JON_*
About the author
My name is okonta nkechi Jennifer but i prefer to be called JON because it's a better way to put my names in one.
I am 23 years old, I'm from ubulu- uku in delta state.i studied Business Administration and Management in Auchi polytechnic Auchi.
I'm a poet,counsellor and a writer. I started writing officially last year,I see writing as a way to express oneself and also a way of escape for those who cannot talk.As long as your mind is not dead there's something to say.
In writing,I hope to curb some societal crimes by contributing my own quota in bringing to light how some incidents leaves the victims devastated.
My daily mantra is problems cannot be the bane of my own existence. I love God and I love people.
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